About Me
- Deep Within
- Michael- is a man whose soul purpose is to raise the awareness of the human consciousness by way of teaching the ways of TRUTH,creating music,and by living in daily inspiration. Michael is a co-founder of the Divine Source Ministries. Herlay, is a one of the co-founders of Divine Source Ministries. She is also the author of many spiritual teachings,books,journals,etc. She is an inspired young woman who's goal is to revolutionize the world by helping her brothers and sisters throughout the world realize their "true selves".
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I find peace12 years ago
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Consistency13 years ago
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Purpose13 years ago
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God is Truth14 years ago
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Monday, June 27, 2011
1:11 AM | 
Posted by
Deep Within |
The Nasty Coworker
Divine Observation Part 1
Excerpt from Every Muscle of my soul
Have you ever felt negative feelings towards a co-worker, Family member, or ex-spouse. Have you ever felt that there are certain people you just don't like?
One of the biggest factors that contribute to the erosion of peace in our modern society is the dangerous practice of blind judgment. Judgment that is derived from a person's shortcomings, alter ego, and misunderstood actions.
When someone has wronged you it is easy not to like them. Understandably, our perception of that person becomes molded by the negative experience we have had with them. I once had a co-worker who was on my “don't like” list since day one. For the sake of confidentiality I will refer to this person as Ms. Lovely. The first day I met this person they began bossing me around. The interesting thing about it was that I was Ms. Lovely’s manager. Right away all these thoughts began to fill my mind about how Ms. Lovely was going to be insubordinate, easily angered, stubborn, back stabbing and any other nasty things a co-worker can be.
My thoughts quickly became reality as this person started to dig into my nerves deeper than ever experienced my entire existence. Not only did this individual question my leadership Ms. Lovely went so far as to report me for not giving her enough attention. It almost seemed that her sole purpose in life was to hurt me to the point of hating her.
One day while working at another location with another one of my teams I received a disturbing phone call from the office. It turned out that Ms. Lovely had facilitated a meeting in which she scolded the team for their poor performance, so harshly that she not only offended everyone but she left some in tears. Heads were hanging low. Feelings were hurt. And the morale of the group was crushed.
Why was Ms. Lovely so mean? Why did she constantly have to make the work place miserable for everyone? Why did she feel the need to put people down and crush the spirits of those around her?
The answer came when I finally had enough and decided to have a one on one conversation. The conversation started off as it usually does. I would ask Ms. Lovely “What’s wrong?, she would reply “Nothing is wrong...everything is fine...” . Everything changed when I tried something new. As I looked her in the eyes I sat in my seat in absolute silence. The message that was being conveyed however was crystal clear. I welcomed her to share her life. I welcomed her to feel safe. I welcomed her to expose her demons. She began to pour her heart out. Her eyes began to swell up with tears.
It turned out her aggressive behavior was directly proportional to the passion she has for her work. Her desire to succeed was her driving force that unfortunately trumped her need to be considerate to others. The anger that she carried around with her like a handbag was a direct result of a tough situation at home. She explained that who she is at home is completely different from who she is at work. Her situation at home was one where she was not able to speak up for herself, she was bullied, taken advantage of, and felt as though she didn’t have a voice. It became evident that her actions at the work place were a direct result of the problems she faced in her marriage.
My dislike for Ms. Lovely was based off of her mistakes at the work place. From this conversation on I began to choose to see the qualities that she had to offer the world. The truth about Ms. Lovely was that she was a strong leader, caring person, considerate, loyal, and kind. It wasn't until I decided to acknowledge these characteristics in her that our relationship began to change.
The discovery I found was that our ego is made up of the exact opposite of who we really are. The characters and the roles we play couldn't be further from the truth of who we really are. We unconsciously commit self sabotage to our true nature when we allow life situations to cast us into random roles that have nothing to do with us.
Emotions that come from the false you give birth to more damaging emotions. The false you is always compounded into multiple layers of identities.
The recognition of patterns can break the cycle and bring you back to your “you” reality. When we deal with difficult people we must look beyond the layers to see the “good” in them. Bringing out the best in others makes this world a better place. We
can start by changing our workplace.
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2 comments:
"I love this article Mike. The lady was being her husband at work; the very "thing" she hates at home"
I admire your patience as a young manager to be able to establish a comfort level with Ms. Lovely that allowed her to open up to you. We are the sum total of all our experiences which in turn is what shapes how we act. But sometimes how we act, isnt who we are. As you pointed out, sometimes this can be attributed to ego.
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