Deep Within

Written by Michael Maitre

I remember that cold night. The temperature was -33 degrees and the bitterness of the cold was so piercing that it felt like small razor blades were slicing large slits into my cheeks. I didn't say much on that ride to the airport. I gazed out the van window looking down at the ground intensely as if all the answers to life's impossible questions were written on it. I was on my way to move with everything I had to a new land. This was a time to start new;meet new people, start a new job, and forget about all the misery I had endured for the past few years. As I looked down at the ticket I realized that although the ticket stated the destination I had no clue where I was going. It was then it dawned on me. Running from your problems physically only leaves you alone and with more problems to run from.

My time in the new land was bittersweet. Upon arriving I realized that I was on my own. Free to grow as a person. Free to make every kind of mistake one can think of without any one there to criticize me for it. I quickly indulged in what I like to call a mentally and spiritually abusive relationship. I made friends quick or at least relationships that I thought were friendships. There I was, in a land far from home, a fun loving-highly animated clinical analyst by day and a depressed-self pitying lost soul by night. It was with this experience I began to witness the unfolding of my spiritual understanding of the world around me. One night while crying in the shower (which I did often) I came to a stunning realization...

When an object breaks it is forcibly separated into two or more pieces. My life situation has caused my consciousness to be fragmented, scattered, and at some moments absent. Consequently it was through this process of which I reached an incredible epiphany….Nothing in life is worth more attention than the muscles of your soul. Each being that God has created has Love and can tap into that Love. Far too long I have been longing to Fall in Love with illusions not realizing the significance of the spirit that dwells in me. My Love is here and now. Life is here and now. My future cannot be if it wasn’t for now. My past does not exist if it isn’t for now. This moment is the definition of my existence. When I Inspire, uplift, defend, and uphold others in the name of Love I am fulfilling my life’s purpose; for I am Love and Love dwells in me.